Whitesheep wrote:
The local TA person I spoke to says that she conducts group sessions following an intensive one-on-one interview and incorporates TA in her work but its just one of her tools. I think what I need is to build a relationship with a therapist and I don't see that happening in a group setting. Peck describes psychotherapy as a sort of re-parenting relationship and that makes a lot of sense to me.
I agree with you wholeheartedly. It seems to me that Group Therapy has special risks for scapegoats. The therapist is analysing interaction within the group. Inevitably (and rightly) the group ends up structuring itself and the relationships within it in accordance with the various individuals' 'problems'. This is what gives the therapist material to work with.
That's fine for most people who simply want to resolve a 'current' issue which is hampering their personal relationships with others. BUT, the downside for us is that we end up feeling scapegoated again. That is just re-inforcement of our issues which are far more deep-seated.
Our issues are, one might say, down at the level of 'the meaning of life'. We still have to find out that we have a right to be here, that we have a right to disagree with others and stand up for ourselves. We still have to really understand and FEEL that we have any rights at all.
You are right, look for someone who will give you that one-on-one surrogate parenting. It can be done, like a parent in terms of trust and intimacy, but structured to be within the confines of fixed sessions, (rather than ad hoc and on-call). Between the sessions we have to be prepared to feel pain, despair and sometimes real reluctance to keep going thru it. So the contract is twoway. Both parties will commit totally to the relationship for that one hour per week (or whatever) and at all other times live their own private lives, for better or worse. But whatever happens that one hour is certain, and forever (which in practice means until you are ready to fly solo, like any other person leaving home.).
The therapist is right, though, in her comment that TA is just one of a number of tools we MUST use when understanding ourselves. It has limited application until we do understand , and come to terms with, the very deep-seated damage to our self-image. Until we have done that, we cannot use tools such as TA understand how and why this happened and then rebuild our lives and relationships more positively. In other words, our problems are pretty much with the foundation of our being. Only when we have rebuilt and strengthened our foundations can we rebuild our lives and relationships.
