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madorsad
ip: 72.82.171.88 |
| 1. Second Child Same Gender |
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Perhaps others are aware of the scapegoat issues associated with being second and same gender in offspring.
In my case I was the second daughter in an "enlightened" intellectual family of three kids. It was the 1950s and I was born only 2 years after the first. Too close in age and other things.
It was just recently I understood the worthlessness of the second child. Denial along with isolation I guess made me dense the longest time.
My sis is the "heroe" despite drugs - now alcohol, failure to maintain any meaningful relationships, etc. Her ego is larger, I believe, because she had the benefit of being the first. Lots of pictures, attention, etc.
My parents took virtually no pictures of me. If there were any, I was usually standing beside my hostile sister. In many of them I am crying -- just having been victimized by sis prior to the snapshot.
By 14 I had terrible insomnia (like Dostoyevski - as describes in Miller's "the Body Never Lies" - excellent WS) and in retrospect realize that , at that age, I was just realizing how completely on my own emotionally I was, and had been since as far back as I could remember.
Now, my mother would deny this, but my parents were looking for a son and would have stopped having kids, I'm sure, if I had been a boy. (My father, anyway, openly stated he didn't want kids - on two occassions -- totally matter of fact - a given).
SO here I am a little baby girl -my folks has "been there done that" and they had no patience or time for me -- they just had a "girl" experience. Indeed, my Mom miscarried a son after me and tried again until they had my brother. DOne. I did not feel invisible. I WAS. Friends or family who gave me more attention than my sibs -- were straightened out quickly. I had no one. Sis hated me more because I was better looking and had my own interests and rejected her handmedowns.
Now sis isn't speaking to me again -- I think because I didn't remain at Mom's birthday debauche. She could piss on me and the whole family would tell me its raining. F***K her. |
| Date: 14 Feb, 2007 on 05:14 p.m. |
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Dee Ann
ip: 207.200.116.72 |
| 2. Re:Second Child Same Gender |
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Madorsad: Thanks for sharing your story!
So sorry to hear about your experience with
abusive sister and no protection from Mother.
Me being better looking and having my own
interests, is something I understand with my
sister also. She was and is so jealous! It also
got on my sister's nerves that I was a tinier
type person than she was, way beyond the
age difference. |
| Date: 14 Feb, 2007 on 06:21 p.m. |
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