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Index / The Scapegoat Society / Scapegoat
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Outsider OK?
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madorsad

ip: 71.168.145.177
1. Outsider OK?
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Hi
Just wondering what the outcome was of your house sale/transfer thing. Are you OK? What happened?
Date: 15 Feb, 2007 on 11:45 p.m.
Dee Ann

ip: 207.200.116.72
2. Re:Outsider OK?
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Hi Madorsad -
I thought several people were interested in your 2nd daughters position but no one responds. Hummmm..... Maybe they are on vacation?

Bless you for asking theoutsider how things were going with her house.

Date: 16 Feb, 2007 on 06:28 a.m.
the outsider

ip: 81.34.150.233
3. Re:Outsider OK?
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madorsad (15 Feb, 2007 11:45 p.m.):
Hi
Just wondering what the outcome was of your house sale/transfer thing. Are you OK? What happened?

Hi Madorsad,

Things went as follows. The day after my brother-in-law came to talk to me (described on previous post) he came back to my house. He said he had been thinking about what I had said, that he didn't know I felt that way (all the negociatons had been done through sis and parents) that he was an honest and hardworking man who had earned every penny by himself. He said he and sis will be buying the house making contract and so on (normal way not the strange one suggested the day before), that they wanted the house, they had the money and the house was worth it. I'm not quite sure what his reasons where, but doesn't matter, I'm quite pleased and it feels that there is calm after the storm (but I can't get my guard down yet).
Mum is not saying it, but I think she is very angry. She has withdrawn all her babysitting.

My husband had the flu and my children are ill, but mum pops in or phones just to ask how we are and let me know that she can't help because she babysits for sis so that she can go shopping, to the gym,...

I'm physically and mentally exhausted, so sorry Madorsad if I didn't engaged in more discussion about your second daugthers thread. I will at some point. Thanks for your posts.
Date: 16 Feb, 2007 on 12:36 p.m.
whitesheep

ip: 70.51.138.63
4. Re:Outsider OK?
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It sounds like you did a good job of being firm and expressing yourself to your brother-in-law Insider. I am sorry to hear your mother won't help you care for the sick ones in your family. A little while ago you said she was being extremely nice probably hoping to change your mind and now she's swung the other way. This kind of emotional manipulation may be confirmation that you're doing the right thing.

As one of us who is taking action to put an end to her role as a scapegoat and change her life for the better I must say the Raven and I am very proud of you. Okay, I can't speak for the Raven.
Date: 16 Feb, 2007 on 03:34 p.m.
madorsad

ip: 72.82.194.85
5. Re:Outsider OK?
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Outsider - this transaction would exhaust me, too. It is so cliched but even in the "best" families, money often causes conflict that can last generations.
I guess i did not weigh in on advice because, in my own expereince, these situation are always so liquid (not quite the right word) and in flux that sound advice one day -- will not work the next, especially with so many heavy-duty personalities involved like in-laws, etc. I usually stick with legal advice or the law whenever possible - not fullproof but... You never know.
You feeling strong is what matters. DOn't get sick!

WS - I remember Raven -- that was your thing, right? I liked it, I think. I'll go back and look. Ancient history on this sight is really helpful sometimes. Like 2AM alone and mad or sad.
Date: 16 Feb, 2007 on 10:53 p.m.
whitesheep

ip: 70.51.138.63
6. Re:Outsider OK?
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Yeah, MoS, I started that 'Quoth (sic) the Raven' thread because I didn't think it was enough to identify myself as a Scapegoat: I had to find a way to put a stop to it. The later thread about boundaries was part of that effort too.

In the short time I've been active in this forum I've become aware that I'm entitled to my boundaries. Same goes for my anger when those boundaries are violated by people who should know better. These are new, wonderful and liberating concepts for me. I still have a ways to go before I convince myself that I've outgrown my past but I'm on my way.

Z
Date: 17 Feb, 2007 on 03:33 a.m.
Outsider OK?
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