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Dee Ann
ip: 207.200.116.72 |
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Hello -
I believe people who don't trust others no matter what they do good are not trustworthy people themselves. They also think others are like them and are waiting for the mask, (even when there isn't one) to fall off.
It's pretty easy to tell right away when someone is being genuine. When things go well between two people keep on with the relationship, and when they don't go well STOP because it won't work out. People do not change that much.  |
| Date: 11 Mar, 2007 on 11:24 p.m. |
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Dee Ann
ip: 207.200.116.72 |
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| ----->Sad but so true. Have a nice day! (quote from Dee Ann) People do not change that much. [/quote] |
| Date: 12 Mar, 2007 on 03:15 p.m. |
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Dee Ann
ip: 207.200.116.72 |
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It's so obvious when people are
not to be trusted & that thought
goes down today with an A+ grade
for "accurate opinion" by yours truly. Only kind people with a good heart
are welcomed by me to respond to
my post today! Any other response,
will be ignored! |
| Date: 12 Mar, 2007 on 07:28 p.m. |
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Loner
ip: 82.15.3.66 |
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| Hi Dee Ann Would love to post something really clever and useful, but unfortunately I havent a clue about this subject or how to tell who you can and cant trust. I wish there was a guide book! Hope you are ok |
| Date: 12 Mar, 2007 on 07:59 p.m. |
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Dee Ann
ip: 207.200.116.72 |
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Loner -
Thanks for your post! I hope I don't have to be clever either. Too much pressure.
I've found that I tend to trust people until the person shows him/herself to be untrustworthy. To me how people show they are not to be trusted is when they don't want to work out a problem, but instead just want to blame others for what happened, the easy way. I have a wonderful husband who I trusted even if I felt insecure feelings over the years and it's paid off in the long run. He is so willing to work things out cause his heart is sincere, and as we began to get more understanding of each other we realized that most of our problems were based on misunderstandings
with our original family.
I think the reason people get hurt to any extent is that somewhere in our heart we have trusted someone and instead of them valuing that vulnerability they stomp on that vulnerable part of us that we revealed to them. If we could just say "Ouch that hurts" and they would care, that wound would be healed instantly. But if the person says "Oh all you ever have is feelings - feelings - feelings" attacking rather than saying they are sorry, then the wound isn't healed by the relationship. Does this make sense to you?
Loner (12 Mar, 2007 07:59 p.m.):
Hi Dee AnnWould love to post something really clever and useful, but unfortunately I havent a clue about this subject or how to tell who you can and cant trust. I wish there was a guide book! Hope you are ok
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| Date: 12 Mar, 2007 on 08:48 p.m. |
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Dee Ann
ip: 207.200.116.72 |
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Loner -
I am ok - thanks!
As far as a book on trusting,
I don't know of one. I do read
books but can't think of a good
one right now but I will look and
let you know if I find a good one. |
| Date: 12 Mar, 2007 on 09:01 p.m. |
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Loner
ip: 82.15.3.66 |
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| yes thanks Dee Ann that makes perfect sense. Also I think a problem in relationships is knowing what love is. If someone truly loves you they will recognise insecurites as a need for reassurance and they will take the time and trouble to offer that reassurance. If they dont love you and if they are not trustworthy they wont care whether you trust them or not because they dont value trust. I was joking about the guide book but actually I might now also look for such a book, will let you know if I find anything. |
| Date: 12 Mar, 2007 on 09:24 p.m. |
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Dee Ann
ip: 207.200.116.72 |
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Loner - Your welcome!
Love is the best. I agree that
if someone truly loves us they will
try & steer away from our red flag
zones or sensitive areas, and then
there won't be any problems in the
first place. Isn't that great! I have never thought of someone
not valuing being trusted. That's a
concept that's so far from my thinking
I will have to think about it some more.
How could someone not want to be
trusted? Beats me! [quote]Loner (12 Mar, 2007 09:24 p.m.):
yes thanks Dee Ann that makes perfect sense. |
| Date: 12 Mar, 2007 on 09:36 p.m. |
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Loner
ip: 82.15.3.66 |
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| [quote]Dee Ann (12 Mar, 2007 09:36 p.m.): I have never thought of someone
not valuing being trusted. That's a
concept that's so far from my thinking
I will have to think about it some more.
How could someone not want to be
trusted? Beats me! Maybe I didnt explain in the best way so will relate it to a relationship I once had. I was once in a relationship where neither of us trusted each other. When my partner became insecure I would attempt to reassure him, it mattered to me that he felt that way and I wanted him to trust me. However when I became insecure my partner just became annoyed. He didnt care that I didnt trust him and made no effort what so ever to reassure me or talk it through with me. I later found out that he wasnt the most faithful person. I look back now and believe that he had no understanding of the importance of trust and of the security it could bring- maybe he has never trusted anyone himself. Then again maybe he just didnt give a toss!!! |
| Date: 12 Mar, 2007 on 10:34 p.m. |
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Dee Ann
ip: 207.200.116.72 |
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Loner - I never thought of that. We reassure because we're sincere and trusting people and we want others to know us. We want others to feel good and safe and trusting with us. Some people don't trust anyone at anytime PERIOD. My belief is they don't trust because
they aren't trustworthy and don't have a clue that anyone else could be. It's like a foreign language to them. Sounds like the guy you dated. How sad!(Dee's response to Loner's post below)
You are funny! (Loner's post) and again maybe he just didnt give a toss!!! [/quote] |
| Date: 13 Mar, 2007 on 12:34 a.m. |
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