I just found out that my SGer, my mom-who you all know is deceased now- created a overly nice person persona for me..in other words she lied to people about how nice I was before she started SGing me to them later when her lies about how nice I was were challeneged by my real behavior. I'm gonna tell my story example, but first I thought I'd pose the question, Why did she lie about me being nicer than I was to start with? There was no reason to lie!

Example:
My husband owned a pool table when I met him. We moved into our new home a few months prior to our getting married and there was no place for it. We were gonna sell it after the wedding and the honeymoon when things settled down, but we needed a place to put it temporarily. I asked Mom is we could store it in her garage, thereby letting my 2 siblings still living at home use it until we got around to selling it in a few months. She agreed. But she told me not to leave it there very long because it was taking up all the space.

Well, it ended up staying there for about 5 years because every time we went to get it my Mom said my brother was having so much fun with it could I let them use it a while longer. Then one day I went to her house and the table was covered with junk and getting ruined. I asked Mom if they were done with it so I could sell it. She said yeah, no one had played on it in ages and she wanted it out of her way. So I sold it.

Now the story comes back to me that I GAVE it to my brother and then got mad at him one day and took it back. Part of my reputation Mom has passed around about me is that I can't be trusted because I always give things and then take them back when I get mad. (sister is so changable, she says)Seems when I delivered the table to her garage in the first place she told everyone it was a gift instead of telling them the truth, that it was temporary. WHY?

I was nice enough to put off selling it as long as it was being enjoyed. Many times my husband and I could have used the money from selling it. Yet, Mom had to ignore all that real niceness and revert back to her lie that I'd been nice to GIFT it to my brother and then couldn't tell him the truth in the end or her lie about how nice I was would be exposed. This is so twisted and lame!

My son, who no longer lives at home, had left a barely used one here. A $500 Yahmaha. She didn't know about it until I mentioned it to her. He agreed to sell it to her on any payment plan she could afford. This transaction took place through me. Sister was elated!

Several months later she had not made one single payment. I asked her about it and then she stopped answering her phone and her emails. Finally, when I caught up with her and asked again, she got furious and screamed obcenities at me telling me I was just like Mom said...she said I GAVE it to her for FREE and now I'm coming back wanting money for it. I got so mad I told her to just give the damn thing back. She said she couldn't because she told her husband I'd given it to him for free to be nice and she didn't want him to think I was a bad person who took back gifts. That's when she told me about the pool table story...a story that was corroborated by my brother. *rolls eyes*

Long story short, she finally admitted she thought that if she said it was free I'd be nice and let her have her way and never pay because...now here's the reason people like me get SGed...I always yield to keep from arguing! (And she's sort of right about that. I do usually run away and just ignore the crap.) She says I've chosen not to yield this time because I must be mad at her for something and just want to be a bitch and she quoted one of Mom's favorite sayings about me, "sister can be nice one minute and bite your head off the next for no reason".

She, like Mom, set me up to be nicer than I was, then got mad when her lie was challenged. Why did she have to lie to her husband about me being execptionally nice in the first place? It wasn't even me! It was my son's deal through me.

I'm beginning to think those who SG people are users who want things handed to them, who want people to cater to their every whim, manipulators...and when you don't let them use you, you get SGed as the very sort of person THEY are...users who get mad and then lie about the real story so they don't look like what they don't want to be, but really are!

I also think they are a jealous bunch. My sister claimed that I could pay my son for the guitar so he wouldn't find out she didn't pay. She said I had more money than she had so that made perfect sense to her...in fact, she claims I have enough to support 3 families if I didn't go around wasting my money! This is really a wierd charge being as how she is the one who wastes money on junk (she's a dollar store junk shopaholic, anything under five bucks is hers) instead of paying her bills.

It’s been my experience too that the SG type is a giver. But they give to get admiration and love. They seem to want to be popular and buy friendships. All the while they act like they’re doing it from the heart, when actually they are secretly resenting anyone they give to who does not pledge allegiance to them forever. They hold it over your head, throw it up in your face, etc as they whine “after all I’ve done for you” to get you to feel guilty for not giving them more and more of your life. They use ‘giving’ and then ruin it, thus, demeaning the honest objective of doing something good and making all good actions done by anyone suspect for ulterior motives. And they ruin the concept of ‘reminding’ people you’ve been good to them when they treat you like crap somewhere down the road and claim you never did anything nice, whereby if you bring it up in its proper context they accuse you of ‘throwing it up …etc’. They not only ruin sincerely good actions, they ruin any attempt to stand up for yourself! They get us coming and going!

Does this make them bad people on a mission? Or when they accuse us of doing what they’re actually doing, is this the only way they can see it? In other words, can they not see two sides of things? The ying and the yang? I tend to think they can see both sides or else they wouldn’t be able to play one against the other as well as they do. I think they know, and they choose to use and ruin any prospect of there being any good people in the world and might even be on a mission for ‘Satan’ for all we know!