I used the name "Survivor" to test the water - it was not long after the email incident - there was only me and Vil on the board, then all of a sudden there was about 6 new people. I became highly suspicious and felt all these "new" people were not responding to any of my posts. I still do wonder if they all were "real" people. I was merely seeing if they would respond to "Survivor" better than me. Paranoia maybe - but I was not the only one who suspected false newbies though. I only did this a couple of times however - Someone else has used this name since.The feeling of frustration when you are made to be silenced after being treated so badly, and then be bullied every time you post on the board, is quite something. My anger took over and I felt a rage I didnt know I was capable of - I tried to get revenge in a pointless way by using "things". I also wondered if "things" had a point and maybe I had been too quick to judge.
When feeling unsure, and just at the point of realisation that you have been scapegoated your whole life my your family, it is a very overwhelming emotional time and it can make you very unstable. If someone then comes along and messes with your head, filling it with all sorts of rubbish in order to just use you - knowing how unstable you are - that is a very cruel thing and bound to cause all sorts of reactions, crazy or not.
I will not explain myself further, I dont need to, I was put in a bad position through bad treatment at a very delicate time of my recovery. I will not forgive this and do not have to explain myself.
I intend to stay away for a while now but should I choose to post on this board, I will do. I was quite happy to just browse and learn until my name got dragged through the mud out of the blue- I have a right to defend myself and I will.
Continued attempts to discredit me will have no affect on me and I will allow no further interaction with bullies, I will simply rise above it.
